Saturday, July 12, 2008

just spreading the word.

chances are, nobody reads this. if, however, you reading this, chances also are that i don't even know you. if you don't know me, you probably don't really care about me or the people in my life. but i care about the people in my life, so i'm trying to get this out there as much as possible: pray for jon thomann.

you are probably thinking, "i don't even know who that is, so no. i'm not even religious. so .. psh. no." but oh well. whether it's prayers, thoughts or positive energy, all of it is appreciated.

jon is one of my good friends from college. i've known him less than a year but he is one of my favorite people that i have ever met. i don't know anybody who's had something bad to say about the guy. he is intelligent, hard-working and one of those inspiring leader types that i think most of us aspire, or should aspire, to be. three weeks ago, he was at a friend's lakehouse and fell down some concrete steps and hit his head. they took him to a local hospital and then airlifted him to barnes-jewish hospital in st louis for imaging/care. they discovered a large clot building on top of his brain, which was creating pressure. neurosurgery was immediately performed to remove the clot and pressure and he has been in recovery in the ICU since that time.

he has shown many signs of improvement over the past weeks and we are all incredibly proud of him. though he isn't quite "awake" yet, i know he is still fighting like crazy. he developed pneumonia a while ago and he was on antibiotics for it. recently, his oxygen saturation levels, heart rate and blood pressure dropped significantly. the resuscitative team was called in to revive him. he is still in the ICU; it is thought that a mucus plug in his airway slowed his breathing, which decreased his blood pressure, creating a chain of events that lead to his "incident." he is stabilized now and is in critical condition in the ICU. clearly, this boy needs some prayers. he means a lot to so many people.

so, instead of a shameless plug for comments, site visits or linkbacks, this is a shameless plug for prayers. i'm not one to preach but anything positive sent his way would be much appreciated by everybody that knows him.

you can visit this website for updates on his progress; his girlfriend, kathryn (who by the way is amazing and so strong in all of this), and his mom are updating it daily.

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

i update like mad.

this might be the case for the duration of this thing.

never let a boy control your emotions. obviously you should never let him do it intentionally, as that surely constitutes some sort of controlling, maniacal abuse. but i'm talking in the way that girls always do -- just letting some guy's actions and words basically decide whether or not you're happy or sad. it's just an awful idea. because when he lets you down or makes you sad, he really lets you down or really makes you sad.

but then again, when things are going well and you're just incredibly happy, maybe you can't help but think that things will stay that way forever. we should learn, you know, that nothing is permanent and things always change. but sometimes it's just so perfect. maybe sometimes it's okay to hope.

if you've anything to say about it, say it on the previous entry, will you ? xx

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

i need new flats.

i have the best pair of flats in the world. they are the best flats in the world because they are black, they are leather, they fit perfectly, they don't give me blisters, they have a cute little bow, they are square toed and the inner sole has cheetah print.

i bought them at nordstrom. strike that, my mom bought them for me at nordstrom. i bought them for my homecoming dance senior year because at every other dance, i wore heels and took them off after 15 minutes, which seemed like a waste. plus my feet got dirty and disgusting. so i decided upon flats. i wanted quality flats though. so i went to nordstrom, instead of payless or some other discount store with shoes that hurt my delicate little feet. so after much cajoling and demonstrations of the cost per wear, i convinced my mother that $80 shoes were worth it. (think about it: if i wore these lovelies even only once a week for a year, equalling 52 wears ... why these babies would only be a little over $1.50 per wear!) and really, $80 isn't all that much for shoes when you consider that these black leather, square toe, bow tie christian louboutin chambre d'ami flats...

... are $595 on net-a-porter.
compared to those, $80 seems great. to sum up that unnecessarily long anecdote, i got the flats. i wore the flats. i loved the flats. (so did everyone else.)

that was in the beginning of october of 2006, so in october, my flats will be two years old. i still wear them and i still love them. but they are falling apart.

i have about 35 pairs of shoes at last count and brought about 20 with me to school. i put them all in the bottom drawer of the shitty little dresser provided for us in the dorm. somewhere, in between laying my flats gently in the drawer and moving home in may, my flats got a rip on the side. on the outside right shoe, right in the middle of the leather, is a big gash. it looks as though some evil high heel was jealous it wasn't getting as much wear and decided to take revenge upon my poor, well-loved flat. i despaired. i still do, every time i wear them. yes, i confess, i still wear my flats. i had my step-dad glue the flap back, and for a while, it looked perfect, while i was wearing them anyway. (never examine these flats closely, please.) but now, after many days of wear, the adhesive has come undone. still, you can't tell that they're slightly ruined unless you inspect closely. (if you ever see me wearing these lovely things, please don't do this now that i have pointed the flaw out to you.) but i can tell. i've seen the laceration, i've stared at it, i've forlornly ran my fingers across it in desperate hopes that i had somehow accrued a magical healing touch. i discovered, after many of these despondent sessions of mourning, that my tears did not have the healing powers of the phoenix and so i resolved to find another pair of wonderful flats.

it's not that i don't have other flats. i do. they're really cute flats too. some gold, some royal blue, some cream with gold trim, some black patent with jewels. some are comfortable, some dig into my heels and toes leaving me with epic blisters. i clearly have not found a suitable replacement. i need to find another pair of flats that are just like the perfect ones i have, but as they don't make them anymore, i don't know what i shall do.

if you have suggestions, by all means, leave them. words of solace and comfort are also appreciated. until then, i'll be wearing my torn flats. please don't look too closely.
well i haven't used this in about 17.3 years. i think i'll link this to my facebook & make it my public one. hm.

work's going to start kicking my ass soon. no, i'm not joking. oh and don't worry, i got a third job. so i'm working at charlotte russe, sunglass hut, and soon enough, the doubletree hotel. I'll be a pool server. i don't even fucking know what pool servers do, but i make tips so that's always nice. the hr lady hasn't called me yet, but she said she'd call by thursday or something.

i'm going to chicago on the 19th or 20th or something. my dad just decided that we should go. i haven't been since i was like four. i wish cody wasn't gone, i'd ask her what i should do. i'll write her a letter. anyway, i guess i'll just spend all the money i've made and take a ridiculous amount of pictures. it happens.

i just want to go back to school. every night, i have dreamt about being at school, or my friends from school. which is weird. but not really. because i always dream about people i talk to or just think about during the day. i remember my dreams like every fucking morning lately, which is weird. and they're always hella strange dreams. last night, i dreamt that i showed up at school and was living with sarah-beth instead of december, and all of my stuff was already in there and the room was arranged and everything. i was really confused.

this is so pointless, nobody cares. i didn't mean that as an emo statement, btw.


that's my nephew. be jealous.


that's my niece. be jealous.


schedule for this week --
07/08/08 : doctor appointment at 4 [ew i hate being a girl. seriously, fuck my life.]
07/09/08 : working at sunglass hut from 5 - 9:30 [omg, closing alone for the first time, ahh !]
07/10/08 : working at charlotte russe from 4:30 - 10
07/11/08 : working at charlotte russe from 3:30 - 8:30
07/12/08 : working at charlotte russe from 1 - 7
07/13/08 : working at charlotte russe from 2 - 9 [the mall closes at 6, but we're having a store meeting from 7 - 9 .. lamesauce.]